Medicinal Magic Humor Pillows

"And is that your card?"

Ice Cream Surgeon

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

PSA Banter.

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

Happy Birthday to you.

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

"Gross."

World Cup Fever

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

Operating Room Humor. Why are anesthesiologists assumed to be honest? Because numb-ers don't lie!

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

'Time for your pills.'

'Long shift?'

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

'You have an enlarged funny bone.'