Drug Trial Humorist Gifts

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"Bailiff."

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

"Repeat after me..."

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

'Remember, don't discuss the case with the jurors.'

Disorder in the Court!

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

"The transformation is pretty bad, but the worst part is filling out the paperwork for the adverse events."

"I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between us. We're contraindicated."

'You'd better stick with blurry eyes, anxiety attacks and hallucinations, because he drug prescription, I'd give,shows even greater side effects!'

Sea of Tranquillity

"Guilty times infinity."

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

"Your Honor, it was a lot for any jury to be expected to believe...but we fell for it."

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

"May I suggest we up your medication, sire.

"Your report card says you don't interact well with other medications."

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

Humpty Dumpty Had a Great Lawyer

"I like my job because I can afford better psychotropic drugs than my colleagues!"

'Your first trial?'

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

'You can sniff out pet supplies on aisle five.'

"Doctor - can I administer my own anaesthetic?"

"Find out who set up this experiment. It seems that half of the patients were given a placebo, and the other half were given a different placebo."

"No, it's not mentioned in the side effects. But you have noticed that it's a full moon tonight, haven't you?"

'No, I'm not on trial here. I'm on the jury!'

"These drugs won't do much, but the combined side effects are a hoot!"

"… Yes, but you only have to take it once a year."