Trial Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'Not to worry, I've handled hundreds of cases like this and the way I see it, I'm bound to win one sooner or later.'

Disorder in the Court!

"I believe in trial and error. I believe my client being brought to trial is as error."

Trial by Media

"Bailiff."

"You can't plead cute."

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"We make crime pay."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"Not guilty?"

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

A baby in court

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

"At least he's honest about it..."

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"Repeat after me..."

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

Antonin Scalia

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

"Can you hear me now?"

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

Counsel's Opinion.