Whimsical Trial Enthusiast Gifts

'Is it a crime that I ate my yung? They're the best damn Chinese food in town!'

Trial by Media

"You can't plead cute."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

Counsel's Opinion.

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

Disorder in the Court!

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

Closing arguments.

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

'It hasn't been a complete failure - we've learned volumes about falling.'

'Your honor, the defense would like to buy a vowel!'

'Your Honor, we find the defendant to be the subject of misplaced guilt.'

'He's competent in every regard, except to stand trial.'

'I'm not kidding....my client is really insane!'

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

'Are you capable of distinguishing right from wrong?', 'Can you give me a hint?'

Judge has work boxes labeled Sustained and Overruled.

"That was fun. What time does the next trial of the century start?"

Look at what your verdict is doing to my complexion!

''Not guilty,' eh? - Color me suspicious!'

Lawyers offices, with todays score card. - Won...Lost ...Tied

"Don't make me come down there."

A witness giving testimony in court