Trial Enthusiasts Gifts

"My question is for the medical examiner."

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

Trial by Media

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Wal-Mart Ruling

"You can't plead cute."

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"Impartiality becomes you."

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

Counsel's Opinion.

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

Counsel examining witness

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of multiculturalism.'

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

Trump Indicted

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."