Trial Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"My question is for the medical examiner."

Your honor, I ask you: Are these the legs of a murderer? And if so, who cares?

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

Trial by Media

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Wal-Mart Ruling

"You can't plead cute."

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"He'll only talk when his lawyer's present."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"Impartiality becomes you."

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

Counsel's Opinion.

Counsel examining witness

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

Trump Indicted

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'