Comical Courtroom Enthusiast Gifts

"It would have been a no-fault divorce if the judge wasn't happily married for 30 years!"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"Not guilty?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

"The court granted me a new identity!"

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

'Oh, objection, objection, objection - what is it this time, Counselor?'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

"Can you hear me now?"

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

'Let's agree to disagree.'

"I didn't consider it hacking. I thought of it as getting a sneak preview of their content."

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

"Let's take in a trial."

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

'Oh sure, Your Honor, he can speak. He's using sign language ...

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"I was never drunk as a skunk, Your Honor. As a chipmunk maybe, but never a skunk."

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- You lifted that alibi from a September, 1958 episode of 'Perry Mason!'

You may go free, to worry about tax and the economy like the rest of us.

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

'What could you expect? His owner kept calling him a bad dog!'

No offense intended your honor…It just seemed like this case screamed for a frivolous law suit…

Eleven Angry Men and One Happy Chappy

"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "

"In a surprising turn of events, the end testifies against the means."

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'