Courtroom Comicality Connoisseur Gifts

Bankruptcy Attorneys: "If you ain't broke, we can fix it."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Not guilty?"

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

Yawning barristers in court

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

"Can you hear me now?"

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

Counsel's Opinion.

"Let's take in a trial."

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

"My conclusion that he lied was based on his body language, his polygraph results, and the complete implausibility of his story."

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

"...And now show us what you said."

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'

"Your Honor, the witness, in my opinion, has failed to establish credibility."

Hermes, Process Server Of The Gods

'If you plead guilty to being the Cat Burglar, I can get you off with just being declawed.'

"I pronounce you guilty as charged and wife."

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

'The Supreme Court found the new law constitutional, but struck it down anyway because it's politically incorrect.'