Comical Courtroom Enthusiast Pillows

"It would have been a no-fault divorce if the judge wasn't happily married for 30 years!"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"Not guilty?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'Oh, objection, objection, objection - what is it this time, Counselor?'

"The court granted me a new identity!"

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"Can you hear me now?"

"I didn't consider it hacking. I thought of it as getting a sneak preview of their content."

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

'Oh sure, Your Honor, he can speak. He's using sign language ...

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

"Let's take in a trial."

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

"I was never drunk as a skunk, Your Honor. As a chipmunk maybe, but never a skunk."

'Must you be so judgemental?'

Eleven Angry Men and One Happy Chappy

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

You may go free, to worry about tax and the economy like the rest of us.

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- You lifted that alibi from a September, 1958 episode of 'Perry Mason!'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

'What could you expect? His owner kept calling him a bad dog!'

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'