Drugstore Humorist Gifts

'You're less likely to become addicted buying the expensive brand name, than the cheaper generic.'

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

"I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between us. We're contraindicated."

'The stuff legends are made of'

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

Seven deadly sins store

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

'You'd better stick with blurry eyes, anxiety attacks and hallucinations, because he drug prescription, I'd give,shows even greater side effects!'

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

Sea of Tranquillity

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

"Your report card says you don't interact well with other medications."

"May I suggest we up your medication, sire.

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

Bookshop with Best sellers getting pushed into the Remainders basket.

"I like my job because I can afford better psychotropic drugs than my colleagues!"

'Yes?'

Free Range / Deranged

That was 16 items.

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

'You can sniff out pet supplies on aisle five.'

"Instead of BOGOFS, I'm going to implement FUCOFS."

"I say my dear, would you pass me some ice please - the fresh stuff, not that frozen rubbish."

New: imitation spaghetti - Impasta.

"These drugs won't do much, but the combined side effects are a hoot!"

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

If you're still not suffering fools gladly in two weeks, we'll up the dosage.

'Is this milk fresh?' - 'An hour ago it was grass.'

"No, it's not mentioned in the side effects. But you have noticed that it's a full moon tonight, haven't you?"