Recession Raconteur Gifts

'Oh, no! It's all in euros!'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Do you want to tell them their department is being downsized again, or should I?'

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

Non Thought For The Day.

"I wrote a poem, even though I'm on vacation."

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

White House Garage Sale.

"I can't go on reading this. . . I'm scared to death!"

Bad news airbag

Hedge funds make billions from short selling Coronavirus stocks.

"Hurry, hurry! When you get back, we'll finish rehashing 1924 and get right on to 1925!"

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

"I am reminded of a morbidly depressing anecdote. . ."

'I'm only here to pep up my autobiography.'

'Continue to support sex education in the schools if you want to, but Billy just told me that he resulted when your sperm met my omelet.'

"This is our successful 'Flat Broke Bum' designer suit. Lots of investment bankers and car plant CEO's ordered it!"

Railroad Crossing. It's the last official weekend of the summer, Ernie. For me, summer has always been like a passing train. When I was a kid, both trains and summer went by at a leisurely pace. Ding! Ding! Ding! Now that I'm much older, summer is like a modern bullet train ... it's just a blur that seems to be gone in an instant!

'When did I first start rambling? Well, it's a long story...'

'Suspence, intrigue, deceit, vice...the annual report.'

"Whatever you do in there all day is fine with me, so long as it's not writing a memoir."

'Well yes there was life before television but it didn't amount to much. . .'

"Relax—we'd know."

"I miss the pre-recession tranquility."

"This is definitely not going to be good for the economy!"

"Is that just for the night, or for ever?"

"Sorry mate, last train's gone."

'Howdy, Millie, how's your incontinence?'

'It's worse than the wrong side of the tracks - I was born on them!'

Your nephew's in there asking for a raise, Mort. House of Java .net Cybercafe. In my day, we didn

Bail out party.

"I've always been pretty good with the ladies" - Small claims court.

"Metro-North is getting ridiculous!"

Old Man and Railway Porter