Racing Raconteur Gifts

Tell me what you know about destiny...

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

"The boss says he can remember the day I first started...but nothing after that."

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

I'm a gangster rap fan too!

'Are you blind ref?'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

Harbaugh bragging rights 2043...

"Back in the day, this pub was full of young, long-haired radicals, hell-bent on changing the world."

Isn't that a surveillance camera?

"You bet I had it mounted, it gave me the best fight of my life."

'Hello, Doc Barnes? I just got your bill. You've just bought yourself a cow.'

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

Crime and punishment - football.

"You misinterpreted the news. I've simply had a terrific autumn."

"Old, you've seemed a bit down recently. Do you need anything?"

Commuting with Sardinetrack - 'Coo, don't they pack us in?'

'You can always tell the ones with the big severance buyouts.'

'Suspence, intrigue, deceit, vice...the annual report.'

"My grant is somewhat restrictive. I have to work only with even numbers."

Well, whaddaya know, your insurance DOES cover probes. Check-Out.

"Sorry mate, last train's gone."

The less you know

"How does it feel to be one of the last hard-liners still in place?"

Yield ahead, school zone ahead,stop ahead,a head ahead.

"Will you love and honor each other in good times and when the effects of the drugs and the alcohol wear off?"

I can sum up the performance of my horse in one word...Last!

'It's worse than the wrong side of the tracks - I was born on them!'

While you are waiting here are a few jokes to keep you smiling......

Old Man and Railway Porter

"Metro-North is getting ridiculous!"