Racing Raconteur Gifts

Tell me what you know about destiny...

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

"The boss says he can remember the day I first started...but nothing after that."

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

I'm a gangster rap fan too!

'Are you blind ref?'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

"Back in the day, this pub was full of young, long-haired radicals, hell-bent on changing the world."

'Hello, Doc Barnes? I just got your bill. You've just bought yourself a cow.'

Isn't that a surveillance camera?

"You bet I had it mounted, it gave me the best fight of my life."

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

"You misinterpreted the news. I've simply had a terrific autumn."

"Old, you've seemed a bit down recently. Do you need anything?"

Crime and punishment - football.

'You can always tell the ones with the big severance buyouts.'

Commuting with Sardinetrack - 'Coo, don't they pack us in?'

"My grant is somewhat restrictive. I have to work only with even numbers."

'Suspence, intrigue, deceit, vice...the annual report.'

The less you know

While you are waiting here are a few jokes to keep you smiling......

'It's worse than the wrong side of the tracks - I was born on them!'

I can sum up the performance of my horse in one word...Last!

"Will you love and honor each other in good times and when the effects of the drugs and the alcohol wear off?"

Yield ahead, school zone ahead,stop ahead,a head ahead.

"How does it feel to be one of the last hard-liners still in place?"

"Metro-North is getting ridiculous!"

Old Man and Railway Porter

Signs: 'hither...yon (under construction)