Review Raconteur Gifts

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

I'm a gangster rap fan too!

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'Leader shy and angler wise I can put up with - it's the darn insolence that bothers me.'

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

"House red, sir?"

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

"At least you don't have a needy husband and an angry dog."

"I had half a date last weekend."

"You bet I had it mounted, it gave me the best fight of my life."

Road Kill Cafe.

'Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without em.'

"Hurry, hurry! When you get back, we'll finish rehashing 1924 and get right on to 1925!"

'I guess I shouldn't have expected too much. Martin was a floor model.'

"Sparkling, Still, or Gushing?"

How Platypuses Are Born

"That's the man, Officer. That's Mr. Right!"

Social butterfly

How was your week on the lake? Twig fell in lo-love! Oh, tell me! Why did I say that? Now I'll never find out anything. Relax, momster. $20 and I can provide a full background report. Done! Boys are so communicative!

'Hi, I'm Leo. How's the food here?'

Are substitutions permitted? If they were, don't you think I would have substituted another customer for you? Menu.

'In a four-star restaurant, one's hat does not fall into the cassoulet de castenaudary. But if ones hat does fall into the cassoulet de castelnaudary, one does not put it back on one's head.'

'Would you like to come over to my place and see a video of my first marriage?'

"So when you said you were a bee keeper..."

'Even women talk about the one that got away'