Road Trip Raconteur Gifts

"How does it feel to be one of the last hard-liners still in place?"

Signs: 'hither...yon (under construction)

Yield ahead, school zone ahead,stop ahead,a head ahead.

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

'So much for your new Satnav!'

Kardiff.

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

How am I abducting?

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Do you know the way to San Jose without breaking into a Bacharach number?'

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

'Are we broke yet?'

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

I always play the GPS through the backseat speakers. That's were I'm used to receiving instructions.

Yes, That Was The Exit

YONDER...next 347 miles.

Street signs you don't want to see.

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

Sister Cities

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

Recalculating!

Be open to help.

Non Thought For The Day.

'Great job Zork, we're lost... you couldn't find Uranus with both hands and a flashlight!'

What are you looking for in a college? A strong environmental program. Ok. Pick 4 or 5 we could visit. I've got 3 days for the trip. There's one in Ohio. Can do. One in Maine, Iowa and California. You need a good geography program. Here's another one. Where's St. Paul?

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'