Travel Raconteur Gifts

Please do not feed the flight attendants k thx!

"Thanks - it was so fabulously regional. I mean, I can't close my eyes without seeing fajitas and Georgia O'Keeffe."

"Ya know, what really struck me the most about my trip to Bali was the $14 ham and cheese sandwich I discovered at JFK Airport."

Sign inside gas station: '$10.00 will be added to your bill if you are on a sentimental cross-country journey of self-discovery and try to tell me about it.'

'During my trip around the World, I took some pictures with this new digital camera... here is my finger covering the lens in Sidney... here in New York... Rome... Lisbon... Hamburg...'

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

"That was Hadrian's wall. Now here we are crashing into the Great Wall of China."

'What zip code are we in now?'

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Columbus Discovers that when Exploring, It's Not Such A Great idea to Bring The Family Along.

"I'm heading north but these days it just seems easier to walk."

"And so another trip comes to an end...with family brought closer together by a shared experience."

Airplane food

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

Face it, Bob, we're lost. Welcome to Faceitbobwe'relost pop. 2.

"You finished with your peanuts?"

'At least, Men point cameras at you these days: In my day, they pointed guns!'

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

"So far, my luggage has had a more exciting vacation than I have!"

"This next song is about a trip to Vermont. It's called 'This is the whitest state I've ever seen—wow!'"

Animal immigration

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

Welcome to Yosemite, Hell on Earth!

"Excuse me... I think you're in my seat."

"Who wants to go first?"

The aviation experts come out to play

'Thinking quickly, Ernie jerked out his instamatic and clicked away at his farm below.'

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

'No we are not there yet, we're just leaving our drive!'

'...so then I said 'your camera is stealing my soul' and he said 'I'm so sorry - how can I possibly repay you?''

Monster Souvenir

'Rumour has it - he upset a 'Witch - doctor' while on holiday in Africa!'