Race Day Raconteur Gifts

I can sum up the performance of my horse in one word...Last!

A day at the races

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"The boss says he can remember the day I first started...but nothing after that."

First past the post.

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

'Oh, really? I work for little softy.'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

"Back in the day, this pub was full of young, long-haired radicals, hell-bent on changing the world."

Isn't that a surveillance camera?

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

'It's no use ... I'll never catch anyone. I can't even catch my breath.'

'I hear the meeting was cancelled last Saturday.' - 'Yeah. Someone drugged the hare.'

Race Horses See Big People.

"It's only a 2-k race, but in the 10 years we've sponsored it, nobody's ever finished."

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

The Tortoise and NASCAR.

Hurdles with Steps

"I can't believe we forgot to pack the car."

'Runners to your mark. Get set... wait! Lane three! Turn sideways!'

'Ha! Fake out!'

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race,1870-The Crews Approach Putney Bridge

Formula One eco helmet

'When I'm in the saddle I'm part of the horse.' - 'Yes, but which part?'

"I'm psyched!"

-Yipee! He's well out in front! -You do realize they're only going down to the start!

Just for laughs, let's throw a few folks off course.

"Old, you've seemed a bit down recently. Do you need anything?"

Jed was a serious gamer...so on race days, he would always dress for speed!!

The Epsom Derby - Beer Stall

Bus rally tour

'Best let them know there's a couple of loose horses at the fourth!'

'You can always tell the ones with the big severance buyouts.'

A runner crosses the finish line chased by a nurse.

Finishing line cuts open athlete.