Race Day Reveler Gifts

First past the post.

Jockey seat.

Bus rally tour

'Best let them know there's a couple of loose horses at the fourth!'

-Yipee! He's well out in front! -You do realize they're only going down to the start!

Biggest Hat Award

'You were right when you said that your horse would 'walk it'. He obviously did!'

"It's only a 2-k race, but in the 10 years we've sponsored it, nobody's ever finished."

'This is the only place where the windows clean the people.'

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

'When I'm in the saddle I'm part of the horse.' - 'Yes, but which part?'

'We may have done better if the jockey had carried the horse round!'

Mobile bleachers

'On your marks, get set, schmo. On your marks, get set, joe. On your marks, get set...'

"He's giving 3-1 Magic Spider in the 230."

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

A day's pleasure.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No. VI

'My feet are killing me.'

A day at the races

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'Now will you pull over and ask for directions?'

Men can show their emotions!

Smile

'I win!'

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

Mr. Macho at the game... and after the game is over.

Bradley Wiggins

A tessellation of running figures.

Loser's Podium.

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

"Howard's gone on the Tour de France without his bicycle again."