Race Day Devotee Gifts

'It happens to a lot of runners at this stage of the marathon, George. It;s called 'hitting the wall'...'

How to Tell when You're Asking for Directions from a NASCAR Fan: 'Make a left, then hang a left, take another left followed by a left...'

Tour de Fran's

A day at the races

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

'Now will you pull over and ask for directions?'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"What now?" Runners disturbing loggers

Smile

First past the post.

'I win!'

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

Olympic Torch Training

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

A tessellation of running figures.

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

Bradley Wiggins

Loser's Podium.

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

"It's right about here that my socks fall down."

'Why did he cut the chicane - the giant spider isn't on the track, he's on our screen.'

1st Place in the Egg and Spoon Race

"Howard's gone on the Tour de France without his bicycle again."

"Should we have dinner now, or are you watching in real time?"

'On your mark, get set...'

Only horse I know that likes to start out of the crouch. 6 3.

Race Horses See Big People.

The Tortoise and NASCAR.

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

'I'd bet that with that race engine, you could beat anybody to the neighborhood grocery store.'

"It's only a 2-k race, but in the 10 years we've sponsored it, nobody's ever finished."

'I hear the meeting was cancelled last Saturday.' - 'Yeah. Someone drugged the hare.'

'I plucked myself. It reduces drag in the water.'

Hurdles with Steps