Race Day Devotee Pillows

'It happens to a lot of runners at this stage of the marathon, George. It;s called 'hitting the wall'...'

Tour de Fran's

A day at the races

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Smile

First past the post.

'I win!'

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

Olympic Torch Training

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

A tessellation of running figures.

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

Loser's Podium.

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

"Howard's gone on the Tour de France without his bicycle again."

'Why did he cut the chicane - the giant spider isn't on the track, he's on our screen.'

"It's right about here that my socks fall down."

1st Place in the Egg and Spoon Race

"Should we have dinner now, or are you watching in real time?"

'On your mark, get set...'

'I hear the meeting was cancelled last Saturday.' - 'Yeah. Someone drugged the hare.'

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

"It's only a 2-k race, but in the 10 years we've sponsored it, nobody's ever finished."

Race Horses See Big People.

'I'd bet that with that race engine, you could beat anybody to the neighborhood grocery store.'

'I plucked myself. It reduces drag in the water.'

Hurdles with Steps

"I can't believe we forgot to pack the car."

Easter Bunny in a Greyhound Race

'Ha! Fake out!'