Racing Revelers Gifts

'...winning coxless four...'

'My feet are killing me.'

"'Fried Ham' on 3..."

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

First past the post.

'Enter, His Royal Globalness...'

A souped up car...

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

'I hate snowboarders!'

"Why did we wait to get recliners?"

Hedge funds make billions from short selling Coronavirus stocks.

'Let him go. We'll catch him in the backstretch. Hippos can run faster than humans, but only in short bursts.'

'It's an old football injury.'

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

Noel Fever

"It's only a 2-k race, but in the 10 years we've sponsored it, nobody's ever finished."

"And the crowd goes wild!! In all the wrongs ways."

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'

Couch Potatoes

"It's great that you both enjoy live music, but who are you and how did you get in our garage?"

The stockholders love our annual report! Scratch and sniff our bottom line and it smells like money!

'What'd ya' think the Pope was gonna do in retirement?'

Michael Schumacher

'When I'm in the saddle I'm part of the horse.' - 'Yes, but which part?'

-Yipee! He's well out in front! -You do realize they're only going down to the start!

'Best let them know there's a couple of loose horses at the fourth!'

Bus rally tour

"Same here. It's my first time too."

Biggest Hat Award

"He's giving 3-1 Magic Spider in the 230."

'Wee Orlando just tagged his first bus shelter.' 'That's ma boy.'

'I'm getting pretty tired of all these potholes.'

-"It would have been a photo finish..." -"Yes, but by the time our horse got there it was too dark for a photo!"