Relaxation Revelers Gifts

I'm Retired, And Your Not!

Couch Potatoes

Theorbo

The end of summer is near and you still haven't made plans

Joust Sharpener

'We'd just like to get away from all leading economic indicators for a while.'

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

"We're here to experience pleasure."

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

America Off-line.

"Hendrickje, I feel another self-portrait coming on. Bring in the funny hats."

'Enter, His Royal Globalness...'

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

"You don't understand, Mom. Our staying in and watching TV is not the same as you and Dad staying home and watching TV in Dayton, Ohio."

'I really don't care about your work/life balance.'

'You know, it's kind of nice turning off the sound, turning on closed caption, and listening to piano music.'

Vitruvian Manatee

"Why did we wait to get recliners?"

Galileo drops ball from Pisa and it goes up.

The Wackoman (Heat it).

Hedge funds make billions from short selling Coronavirus stocks.

Crumbs of Comfort

What do you tell someone who asks you what kind of work you do?

Santa entering a pool for a swim

'I'm still stressed out.'

Hungry Panda Thirsty Hippo Curious Sloth

'You haven't changed a bit Perkins.'

"I didn't think you'd make it through biology."

"I'm glad you're not one of those sharks that has to swim all the time."

'One second - wo seconds - three seconds - four seconds -one hour...'

Holiday,

Two inebriated friends meet, one says: 'Hello, I've not seen you since you were this high.'

'She's spring cleaning and you?'

Superman takes a vacation.

Tax haven.