Relaxed Revelers Gifts

"Single malt scotches are good but I prefer regular old comfort booze."

Santa entering a pool for a swim

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Christmas Tree

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

I took a vacation to forget everything and I forgot my luggage.

"This might surprise you, but not everyone finds the smell of a rain-soaked world invigorating."

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Santa does a keg stand.

'Just look at him- a fool and his money are soon partying!'

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

Flotation Device on the Phone

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

"Why did we wait to get recliners?"

"After the truffle season peaks, we like to kick back and do a little clamming."

December Fest

Fishing is fine but it's not what you'd call a spectator sport.

The night after Christmas.

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

'It's not just the Oktoberfests, it's the novemberfests, birthdayfests, flagdayfests, mayfests, arboedayfests...'

"I manage to avoid jetlag by just catching an earlier flight..."

'Would you believe, all this is just part of a new reality show?'

The Adventures of Morton - Reincarnation.

Go with the flow. Life's a beach.

'Drunk'

"Hey, Ben! We're in Maine now. We don't have to perform."

'Hope 2010 is living up to your bubbly enthusiasm of last night and early this morning'

'Let's keep it simple -- stop serving me when you run out of beer.'

'What'd ya' think the Pope was gonna do in retirement?'

Couch Potatoes

"Don't worry, she's still alcohol aware."

Thanks for house sitting!

Alcoholidays: Beethovens fifth.