Retirement Raconteurs Gifts

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

'Oh, no! It's all in euros!'

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

"I wrote a poem, even though I'm on vacation."

'Oh, just my old war injury acting up.'

"Why did we wait to get recliners?"

"I'll need a three iron."

"Hurry, hurry! When you get back, we'll finish rehashing 1924 and get right on to 1925!"

'Dang! The Hoopers have been force-feeding vitamins again.'

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

"Same thing every morning. Crack of Don at the crack of dawn."

'With me and Dave it was definitely love at first sight. How about you two?'

'Before you get carried away with celebrating, Stapleton, I'd like to remind you that my retirement doesn't go into effect until five o'clock...and I'm still your supervisor.'

'Regrets? Not many, except for this list of individuals that I had the misfortune of hiring...'

'Walter just retired after 37 years at the shoe store.'

'What'd ya' think the Pope was gonna do in retirement?'

'Case dismissed! -- I just reached retirement age!'

Commuting with Sardinetrack - 'Coo, don't they pack us in?'

Every Night is Over 60's Night

'I understand that the two of you had a rather successful collaboration on our new sex manual!'

'Suspence, intrigue, deceit, vice...the annual report.'

"Whatever you do in there all day is fine with me, so long as it's not writing a memoir."

"Leaving parties aren’t as much fun since they put up the retirement age!"

"He's making a retirement statement - he's burning all his DIY books."

"Unfortunately, our guest of honor can't be here tonight. I've just been told that he never actually existed, and is the product of a 1989 computer error. And isn't that just like Bert? Humble and self-effacing to the very end!"

"He spends a lot of time in the garden since he retired."

Retirement day

"I really didn't think dad's retirement fromthe family business would be like this!"

"Alton Towers was rubbish, Mum - the A14 was much scarier."

'Walter just retired after 37 years at the shoe store.'

"Grow old gracefully but don't be a jerk about it."