Recently Had A Baby Gifts

"Is it too late to get a puppy?"

'Oh, don't mind Jeff. It's just his turn to change the Baby's nappy.'

'Don't you think that this is more fun than using a breast pump?'

Who Needs a Power Shower,

Don't Touch Its Burnies.

"Goal!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

Pool attached to child's bed.

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Late night teddy reading

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Swinging on a star.

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

"They're so adorable at that age!"

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

A mother and baby elephant

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

Twenty-first century baby walker

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"