Recent Birth Gifts

'Hobbies? Feeding you takes up all my time.'

'I eventually want one to go with every outfit.'

'I've never seen mum change these when they get empty.'

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Bond James, Bond."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

"His first out-of-body experience."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

The cell phone soother for life.

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Late night teddy reading

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Pool attached to child's bed.

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'The child is very illogical'

Swinging on a star.

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"They're so adorable at that age!"

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

A mother and baby elephant