Recent Birth Pillows

'Hobbies? Feeding you takes up all my time.'

'I eventually want one to go with every outfit.'

'I've never seen mum change these when they get empty.'

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Bond James, Bond."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"His first out-of-body experience."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

The cell phone soother for life.

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

Late night teddy reading

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Swinging on a star.

'The child is very illogical'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

"They're so adorable at that age!"

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

A mother and baby elephant

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."