Recent Childbirth Pillows

'I excuse my weight by saying I'm eating for three. Unfortunately, the twins were born months ago.'

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

"His first out-of-body experience."

Cry babies.

'The child is very illogical'

Swinging on a star.

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

Botany Baby!

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'Hm-m-m - it sleeps most of the time. I think it must be some kind of cat.'

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

"It was romantic during dinner, but now it's getting kind of creepy."

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

Fitness Programme for babies

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"Congratulations—It's a well dressed boy."

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

Baby Screen Time

Baby Hairstyles.

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"I miss the Augean stables."

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

'Oh, don't mind Jeff. It's just his turn to change the Baby's nappy.'