New Birth Pillows

"What a screwup. I was only supposed to get a hip replacement."

"I'm not his mom anymore—now I'm his life coach."

Bouncing baby

Meghan Markle gives birth to a Baby Boy

Woman given a pinstrip suited infant from a nurse

"Hurray! I just got born!"

Lockdown Babies

"My birth was such a shock to me . . . I couldn't talk for two years."

The meaning of life

'You're making my job much harder.'

Easter egg on Easter island breaking open to reveal a baby Easter island statue

Kid, would you please keep your head down! I can't see where I'm going...

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

"Please stop using the phrase, 'I wasn't born yesterday'."

Maternity Ward: Push & Keep Pushing

A drone carries a baby like a stork.

"She’s changed so much since her ultrasound photo."

"Heavens, what have I done?!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"His first out-of-body experience."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

baby sweetcorn...

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Pool attached to child's bed.

Interior design trends for parents....

Late night teddy reading

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Swinging on a star.

'The child is very illogical'