Birth Of Newborn Pillows

Breast Feeding in Public

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"His first out-of-body experience."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Cry babies.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Baby Piano

My First Camera

Late night teddy reading

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

A midwife holding a baby

Pool attached to child's bed.

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Swinging on a star.

'The child is very illogical'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"That's not how I sat on you."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

"They're so adorable at that age!"