Newborn Baby Pillows

Three Wise Women: 'Then at about six weeks or so you can probably expect a touch of colic...'

'Oh dear, still not talking.'

'He has all of his fingers and toes and, so far...no carbon footprint.'

Baby.

"Sorry, but 'cute' isn't a word I just throw around."

"I'll need the OTP."

'I don't know if she's gonna be much good. I don't think she's even registered.'

'Baby skunk delivery.'

A vicar looks at his in tray and out tray containing a newborn baby and a coffin

'My ballet training comes in handy when I don't want the baby to wake up.'

"They think I don't have a clue."

"Isn't that adorable?"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

"His first out-of-body experience."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Pool attached to child's bed.

Late night teddy reading

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'The child is very illogical'

Swinging on a star.

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

"They're so adorable at that age!"

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."