Newborn Parents Pillows

"You two are my parents? No offense, but I'd like a second opinion."

City Zoo: Day Care

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

Madonna of the Pukes.

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

A young Don King

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

'Ahhh...'

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

baby sweetcorn...

'I told you it would be useful.'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

The Baby Walker

"She's been so creative lately."

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Late night teddy reading

Pool attached to child's bed.

Interior design trends for parents....

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

A midwife holding a baby

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Swinging on a star.

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'