New Baby Gifts

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

Baby Elephant drinks water from it's trunk

"Open up for the choo-choo train!"

"It's a baby. Federal regulations prohibit our mentioning its race, age, or gender."

"Nature, nurture or a bit of both?"

Comparison list of old age and youth.

GooGoo Search Engine.

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

What's the big surprise? All the latest theories of linguistics say we're born with the innate capacity for generating sentences.

Little girl to baby: Is that a good book?

'Perhaps you could give him a touch of astigmatism, kids with glasses are sooo cute!'

"I recommend an epidural, at least until they're off to school."

Baby talk 101 - Whaaaaa! 'This is a good one. It means, 'Until my every need is met, your life will be hell'.'

"They also left a pamphlet on the benefits of breast feeding."

"I'm right here. Focused!"

Baby Mobile

"I told you I was too old to have a baby."

'Congratulations It's a spork'

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"Dress it up all you want – it's still and invasion of my privacy."

A baby is breast feeding and father asks mother:'So at what age is he going to realize that I exist?'

Little chef.

'We're quite excited. We think he's developing his first disorder.'

'Ugh Not Again!'

"I'd put his name down for Eton if I could spell it!"

Snowman Baby, "We used a frozen Sperm Sample

'Nothing's coming out! Where am I going to find a plumber at this time of night?'

Please excuse him, he's intent.

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'Worst case of premature baldness I've ever seen.'

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

Changing the baby.

'Superbaby...More powerful than an electric breast pump!'