Having A New Baby Gifts

'She just came down the stairs without walking.'

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

'My parents didn't want me getting left behind in the system.'

'He looks a bit like both of you.'

"Look, dear! This isn't childish nonsense - Junior's written his first password!"

"Support the head."

"Yep. One led to another and it all just snowballed from there."

He can't talk yet, but he still gets the last word.

"They're like little sponges at this age."

'Having a toy chest that folds out into a desk has really helped.'

'Is your house baby-proofed?'

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

A baby watching coronaviruses on television

"Yes, go and play, but be careful, there are a few thermals around: make sure you're not lifted too high..."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Pool attached to child's bed.

Late night teddy reading

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Swinging on a star.

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"They're so adorable at that age!"

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."