Welcoming A New Baby Gifts

Think of it as instant messaging.

The family dog feels neglected because of the attention given to the new baby.

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

Maternity Ward - 'I wonder what his credit rating is...'

He was such a big baby the doctor wished he'd never smacked him.

'Guess who's teething?'

'Are you sure he's my baby brother? He smells effeminate!'

'I'm in here, dear, getting into shape for walking the floor with our new baby when it cries.'

Get with it, Stevie — walking and talking are the bottom line these days.

Baby Teething Problems.

'And what's your baby's name Dear?'

Cleaning the kids.

Mime father in the delivery room.

"Yeah, I'm still scared of it too, but the worst part is that it seems to be GROWING...."

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"It's my baby sister's. She leaked when we got her, and we've been trying to fix her ever since."

Baby bumper stickers

'I'm worried Doctor: He's a bit small for his age...'

'He was brought by the stork.'

A Charlie Brown Bris.

'Does anyone feel like I do?'

"Oh look, he has his Mother's eyes."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding Faces'

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

'Count me in.'

Toys for Tots

"Seriously? You guys couldn't do any better than Frank?"

"I would use less pressure when massaging the baby's abdomen."

"I'm letting him soak."