Welcoming A New Family Member Gifts

A baby meets his new freaky family. Please don't be looking at me...

"Yes, we're very fortunate to be blessed with one of each."

'Reciprocation' for Santa Claus

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"Pick me!"

Santa Claus's Mail

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"Yeah, I'm still scared of it too, but the worst part is that it seems to be GROWING...."

'It's going to be a vegan.'

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'Guess who's teething?'

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

The modern generation!

"Which one's yours?"

'I can't wait to embarrass him when he's a teenager.'

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

Mime father in the delivery room.

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

"So much for 'sleeping like a baby.'"

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

Untidy bedroom

'It's one of life's little miracles!'

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

"Can't you just relax and enjoy my childhood."

'Well, he certainly has his Father's vocabulary.'