Celebrating New Family Member Gifts

Mother Cyclops: 'He has your eye,'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Santa Claus's Mail

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'What's that humming sound?'

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"Yeah, I'm still scared of it too, but the worst part is that it seems to be GROWING...."

'It's going to be a vegan.'

Family working together

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'Guess who's teething?'

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

Family sitting on sofa.

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

Mime father in the delivery room.

Black and white penguins with gray and black and white child.

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

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'Good night darling...sweet nightmares.'

'It's one of life's little miracles!'

Untidy bedroom

A woman looks at greeting cards in a section entitled "New Pie".

'Fred, we've been together too long!'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- it's hard to believe we're related.'

Of course he hasn't grown wings yet – You carry him everywhere.

Time for bed