Celebrating New Family Member T-Shirts

Mother Cyclops: 'He has your eye,'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Santa Claus's Mail

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"Yeah, I'm still scared of it too, but the worst part is that it seems to be GROWING...."

'What's that humming sound?'

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

'It's going to be a vegan.'

Family working together

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

'Guess who's teething?'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

Mime father in the delivery room.

Family sitting on sofa.

'It's one of life's little miracles!'

Untidy bedroom

'Good night darling...sweet nightmares.'

A woman looks at greeting cards in a section entitled "New Pie".

'Fred, we've been together too long!'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- it's hard to believe we're related.'

Cleaning the kids.

Time for bed