New Family Member T-Shirts

'Well he didn't get it from my side of the family'.

'It's true dear - you were adopted.'

"That's right, Scotty. You came from your Mommy's Belly."

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

"Mom...are we adopted?"

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"Obviously, I'm adopted..."

'Next!'

Time for bed

'I'm your new daughter. Marcia and I have traded parents.'

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

'Please tell me there's more to this than this.'

'It's one of life's little miracles!'

"This is our adoptive son. We found him in the cellar where he was raised by spiders."

'Ready? Everybody freeze...'

Home Pregnancy Test

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"Pick me!"

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

Child driving a toy car

Children's Dreams on Christmas Eve

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

'Oh, nothing, just babysitting the Lord of the Rings.'

'What's that humming sound?'

Family working together

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

Maternity ward: 'Oh boy - stereo!'