Welcoming A New Family Member Pillows

A baby meets his new freaky family. Please don't be looking at me...

"Yes, we're very fortunate to be blessed with one of each."

'Reciprocation' for Santa Claus

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"Pick me!"

Santa Claus's Mail

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"Yeah, I'm still scared of it too, but the worst part is that it seems to be GROWING...."

'It makes baptisms a lot more fun for everyone.'

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

The modern generation!

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

'Guess who's teething?'

"Which one's yours?"

'I can't wait to embarrass him when he's a teenager.'

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

"So much for 'sleeping like a baby.'"

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

Mime father in the delivery room.

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

'Well, he certainly has his Father's vocabulary.'

Untidy bedroom

'It's one of life's little miracles!'