Realty Guru Gifts

See the house whose property taxes were raised

'Yes, I can show you properties in your price range, but they're not in mine.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Business is off the chart.

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

Reverse Mortgage.

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"Sold his air rights."

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

"The key to success is knowing what people want. Too bad it isn't knowing what people don't want."

The End of the Property Boom is Nigh.

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

Repossessions

'This is close enough.'

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

Don't worry dear, he only bites untrustworthy morgage brokers!

'Here's a house that needs fixing up. Are you handy with money?'

Didn't know as much about the market as I thought I did.

'If you don't want a lot of column upkeep, this probably isn't a good real estate market for you.'

Painting and decorating

Home 'Submerged' Home! (Home value less than mortgage).

Little Investment on the Praire

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

'One might say the market's gone from the sub-prime to the iniquitous!'

House building chart (like steps).

Real Estate Life