Rental Market Guru Gifts

"Look! It's the Buy-to-let brigade."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

Reverse Mortgage.

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

"Sold his air rights."

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

The End of the Property Boom is Nigh.

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

'This is close enough.'

Repossessions

Actually, I slayed it for the castle's resale value, but don't tell her that.

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

"Central heat. Pretty posh."

See the house whose property taxes were raised

Shoe house.

'Here's a house that needs fixing up. Are you handy with money?'

Home 'Submerged' Home! (Home value less than mortgage).

"Sorry son, I rented out your room to backpackers on Airbnb."

'We decided to rent out the back room until the baby comes.'

Little Investment on the Praire

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

"I know it hurts, Henry, but sooner of later everybody has to condo the home he grew up in."

"We're sitting on a landbank that could accommodate tens of thousands of new homes. We can wait a few years and generate even more profit..."

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

For sale sign 'Don't take that down, it's holding up the house.'

"As you can see, prime location! Just under the hot water tank: warm all year round..."

'Does my boom look big in this?...'

"I just sold your air rights."