Rental Market Guru Gifts

"Look! It's the Buy-to-let brigade."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

Reverse Mortgage.

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"Sold his air rights."

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

The End of the Property Boom is Nigh.

'This is close enough.'

Repossessions

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

Shoe house.

See the house whose property taxes were raised

'Here's a house that needs fixing up. Are you handy with money?'

'We decided to rent out the back room until the baby comes.'

Home 'Submerged' Home! (Home value less than mortgage).

Little Investment on the Praire

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

"We're sitting on a landbank that could accommodate tens of thousands of new homes. We can wait a few years and generate even more profit..."

"I know it hurts, Henry, but sooner of later everybody has to condo the home he grew up in."

For sale sign 'Don't take that down, it's holding up the house.'

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

"That's the worst case of rising damp I've ever seen!"

'Does my boom look big in this?...'

Snail Homes

'It's a very nice house, when the tide is out.'