Rental Market Navigator Gifts

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

"The job is fine thanks. But I need a second one to enable me to pay my rent ."

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

'I remember when all this was fields.'

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

For sale

Made in China.

"Will this job involve multiple choice, true and false, or essay questions?"

Career advice from the boss

'I see you worked here seven years ago. Don't you have a better reference than that?'

We have plenty of people here to push paper. I need someone new to push the envelope.

'You say here that hard work doesn't scare you as long as you hide your eyes.'

'Think of it as a buyout package, Bob...without the 'buy' and just the 'out'!'

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

'Floodplain close - House on stilts with ladder. Estate Agent saying, 'Welcome onto the property ladder...''

'We decided to rent out the back room until the baby comes.'

We need references other than your 336 Facebook friends.

'We offer no perks. We consider a job a perk.'

'It's true that a college degree might render you overqualified for your present position, but it's a chance I'd take.'

'When I grow up, I'm going to be an electrical engineer and when I'm laid off, I'm going to go into real estate, and when that goes down the tube, I'm going to go into...'

"You seem to be intelligent and hardworking ... that could be a problem."

'We'll be in touch. I still have to interview a few other applicants.'

"You can't live in our basement. Your brother beat you to it."

Ben Bernanke says no recession yet.

"You've heard of the bank that likes to say 'yes' well we're the bank that likes to laugh in your face unless you've got an 80% deposit."

'The position carries no salary but does provide for full medical and dental coverage, with three weeks vacation.'

'Your standardized test scores are impressive, but we have no standardized jobs.'

"Just when did you leave your last job?"

"I'm in between jobs right now, so if you kids would give these business cards to your parents that would be primo helpful."

Estate Agent: Houses with Hedge....Houses Without Hedge

'What about short-term? Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

'This is about all we have in your price range!'

'I'm sorry I have to let you go but since this a global economy, you may rotate back here someday.'