Rental Market Navigator T-Shirts

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

"The job is fine thanks. But I need a second one to enable me to pay my rent ."

'I remember when all this was fields.'

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

For sale

Made in China.

Career advice from the boss

"Will this job involve multiple choice, true and false, or essay questions?"

We have plenty of people here to push paper. I need someone new to push the envelope.

'You say here that hard work doesn't scare you as long as you hide your eyes.'

'I see you worked here seven years ago. Don't you have a better reference than that?'

'Think of it as a buyout package, Bob...without the 'buy' and just the 'out'!'

'Floodplain close - House on stilts with ladder. Estate Agent saying, 'Welcome onto the property ladder...''

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

'We decided to rent out the back room until the baby comes.'

'We offer no perks. We consider a job a perk.'

'It's true that a college degree might render you overqualified for your present position, but it's a chance I'd take.'

"You seem to be intelligent and hardworking ... that could be a problem."

'When I grow up, I'm going to be an electrical engineer and when I'm laid off, I'm going to go into real estate, and when that goes down the tube, I'm going to go into...'

'We'll be in touch. I still have to interview a few other applicants.'

"You can't live in our basement. Your brother beat you to it."

Ben Bernanke says no recession yet.

"You've heard of the bank that likes to say 'yes' well we're the bank that likes to laugh in your face unless you've got an 80% deposit."

'The position carries no salary but does provide for full medical and dental coverage, with three weeks vacation.'

'Your standardized test scores are impressive, but we have no standardized jobs.'

Estate Agent: Houses with Hedge....Houses Without Hedge

"Just when did you leave your last job?"

"I'm in between jobs right now, so if you kids would give these business cards to your parents that would be primo helpful."

'What about short-term? Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

'This is about all we have in your price range!'

'I'm sorry I have to let you go but since this a global economy, you may rotate back here someday.'

'Do you want someone to help you or do you just want someone to hold your hand?'

'Bob, we know that you can do the job, even though you did exaggerate your resume.'