Housing Market Guru Gifts

"Yes, I know what all the comps say, but my house is special."

'I had a house for that price. But I sold it in 1962.'

'It's neither a buyer's market or a seller's market. At the moment, it's an estate agent's market.'

Estate Agents.

For sale - 50 off.

"For a 2 bed will need a guarantor, you don't by any chance know Jeff Bezos do you?"

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

Reverse Mortgage.

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

"Sold his air rights."

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

The End of the Property Boom is Nigh.

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

Repossessions

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

'This is close enough.'

Actually, I slayed it for the castle's resale value, but don't tell her that.

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

House hunting is cruel.

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"Central heat. Pretty posh."

See the house whose property taxes were raised