Housing Market Whiz Gifts

'I simply don't understand the requirement to pay people more just to live in London!'

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

House hunting is cruel.

'Your indestructible portfolio will go kablooey just before your indestructible marriage goes kablooey.'

"Good news. Pork bellies just dropped four points."

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

Shoe house.

"I learned about the birds and the bees in school. Now tell me about the bulls and bears."

'We can't decide between raising kids and raising a mortgage deposit.'

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

"For sale £470,000 house included"

'We could easily share this nest: You would use it during the day and I would use it at night...'

Economic crisis.

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

"This article says that the number of elderly living with their children is rising..."

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'