Housing Market Warrior Gifts

Tortoise says: 'Times are hard, I've had to take in a lodger.'

"It was this, or move back in with my parents."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

House hunting is cruel.

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

Shoe house.

'We could easily share this nest: You would use it during the day and I would use it at night...'

"For sale £470,000 house included"

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

'We can't decide between raising kids and raising a mortgage deposit.'

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

"This article says that the number of elderly living with their children is rising..."

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

'One might say the market's gone from the sub-prime to the iniquitous!'

"No, I do not live in my parents basement...it's a walk out."

Battery Farm Housing

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

'I can't move in with my parents. They moved in with my grandparents.

'Surely it is no longer legal to include 'deposit of your first-born child'?'

Freddy Mac and Fannie Mae.

'We finally got a response to our House For Sale sign. The wind blew it down.'

'My bubble burst!'

"Those days of being able to sell any old c**p have long gone!"