Housing Market Fanatic Gifts

'We'll have difficulty shifting it in the present climate.'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

An exaggeration of estate agents

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

"I've downsized."

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

"The only thing we seem to have in your price range is a bird box in Billericay."

"For sale £470,000 house included"

'We can't decide between raising kids and raising a mortgage deposit.'

'We could easily share this nest: You would use it during the day and I would use it at night...'

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

"No, I do not live in my parents basement...it's a walk out."

"We're sitting on a landbank that could accommodate tens of thousands of new homes. We can wait a few years and generate even more profit..."

'We finally got a response to our House For Sale sign. The wind blew it down.'

'Inflation allows you to live in a more expensive neighbourhood without even moving.'

Freddy Mac and Fannie Mae.

"Those days of being able to sell any old c**p have long gone!"

Home seller has given up after reducing price many times.

'I don't think you have quite grasped the principal behind sheltered housing.'

"Looks like rent-a-mob's arrived."

"He refuses to even consider getting an agent until our house has been on the market 700 days."