Real Estate Fanatic Gifts

"The owners have switched from low-flow to 'no-flow' faucets!"

'Central air, ceramic tile, security system. OK, let's move on to the kitchen.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Look, son, real estate."

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

Home Sweet Second Home.

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

Emigrating to France.

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'