Property Fanatic Gifts

'Anything over three eyelets requires a home information pack.'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

' I gather you wish to reassign your lease, Higgins.'

"Look, son, real estate."

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

An exaggeration of estate agents

Mouse real estate!

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

Home Sweet Second Home.

TV show is called Repossesion Repossession. Man says: 'I see the property shows are reacting to the economic downturn.'

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

"Well, it is a good property. The price is low because it is harder to negotiate due to its S-bend configuration."

'This is close enough.'

'We've had an application from No.10 Downing Street. . . they need to extend their cabinet room.'

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

Dog Realtor

'Don't wait too long to decide. A house with a view like this can go at any minute....'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

"Anything in Mr, Rogers' neighborhood?"

"For sale £470,000 house included"

'Bless. Wayne's made his first affordable home sand estate.'

Now if you're looking for a handy fixer-upper

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.