Property Fanatic T-Shirts

'Anything over three eyelets requires a home information pack.'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

"Look, son, real estate."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

Home Sweet Second Home.

TV show is called Repossesion Repossession. Man says: 'I see the property shows are reacting to the economic downturn.'

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

Mouse real estate!

An exaggeration of estate agents

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

'We've had an application from No.10 Downing Street. . . they need to extend their cabinet room.'

"Well, it is a good property. The price is low because it is harder to negotiate due to its S-bend configuration."

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

'This is close enough.'

Dog Realtor

'Don't wait too long to decide. A house with a view like this can go at any minute....'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

Now if you're looking for a handy fixer-upper

'Bless. Wayne's made his first affordable home sand estate.'

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

"For sale £470,000 house included"

William and Real Estate